In England, today is known as Boxing Day, a day when families around Britain work out their aggression by boxing each other. That sounds like a tradition CLLAW can get behind. The welterweight champ of her maximum security prison, Connie Vict chose to pass along her Christmas threat today. “If the Killer Bee thinks she [...]
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The Eleventh Threat of Christmas
As it is Christmas, we took a little break from threatening to open presents, but now we’re ready to threaten again. For the eleventh threat of Christmas, Little Sister Shotgun, a protege of Florida Devereaux, asked us to pass along more of a message than a threat. “Hey, Squelch! I came by your house today [...]
The Tenth Threat of Christmas
It’s on days like Christmas Eve and Christmas that the rest of the world sets aside their differences and embraces a time of peace. Not so for CLLAW. In fact, all that love and understanding just might make CLLAWers even angrier. For the 10th threat of Christmas, Rockke L. Squelch reminds Santa why it is [...]
The Ninth Threat of Christmas
There are few things about CLLAW that aren’t threatening, from wrestling convicts to a glamazonian mistress of ceremonialisms, but nothing and no one in CLLAW is quite as threatening as The Killer Bee. She’s been terrorizing wrestlers and dominating CLLAW from the very beginning. With a posse to strong-arm judges, spectators, and wrestlers alike, The [...]
The Eighth Threat of Christmas
It took some prodding but finally Rockke L. Squelch has agreed to comment, as herself this time, on Florida Devereaux’s recent veiled threat of Christmas. We were patched through to Rockke by her assistant, who, again, sounded very much like Rockke. Rockke told us that she had been too busy to respond because she had [...]
The Seventh Threat of Christmas
CLLAW was oddly light on threats today. Maybe the holiday spirit had infested CLLAW’s normally hostile followers and they were finally feeling charitable and kind. It’s far more likely they’re just tired and ready for a day off. Exhaustion and the possibility of joy is no reason to go without a threat though. So for [...]
The Sixth Threat of Christmas
After yesterday’s rather foreboding comments from Florida Devereaux, we tried to reach Rockke L. Squelch for a response but to no avail. Her spokesperson (who sounded suspiciously like Rockke herself) said Madame Rockke L. Squelch was unavailable for comment because she was busy doing something fabulous somewhere fabulous, but that Madame Rockke would eventually have [...]
The Fifth Threat of Christmas
Are they or aren’t they friends? Will they or will they not resort to outright physical violence? The struggle between Florida Devereaux and Rockke L. Squelch has been raging for years. The battle over whose turn it is to buy toilet paper has ruined even the strongest friendships. The fallout between Lancelot and King Arthur? [...]
The Fourth Threat of Christmas
Snow White’s stronger and meaner sister Snow Blight takes no crap from anyone, especially not fruit. While Snow White blames the evil queen for the misfortunes of her life, Snow Blight takes it all out on the apple. For CLLAW’s fourth threat of Christmas, Snow Blight asked us to help her make fruit salad out [...]
The Third Threat of Christmas
Threats aren’t just for the family dinner table at Christmas. Take all that holiday aggression and combine it with Chicago’s favorite femme fatales and you have a some seriously down and dirty Christmas fear. For our third threat of Christmas, CLLAW’s tiniest sales woman, the lead CLLAWBUX Girl, asked us to make her diminutive wrath [...]
